Call your Fear

Every journey is a story, an experience and a change.

I reached McLeodganj early in the morning, had 3 hours before the tracking group to meet. So, I decided to go to Shiva Cafe first. I have been to Bhagsu fall earlier but not to Shiva Cafe, which a little track from fall.

I reached the point from where the climb up begins from the fall. Since it was early, I couldn’t see a single human on the entire way. At one point during climbing up the track to Shiva Cafe, I had a strange sensation. I was going up but absorbing the entire scene and the vastness of mountain through the corner of my eyes. And on a bent in the up climb, I froze. My feet trembled and it felt like I would not be able to go a step ahead. Fear gripped me and my whole body shook.

I turned around and slowly sat on the step with my back towards the cafe. I looked around and thought that I haven’t come here to just leave and run away. I can not drop something because I am afraid. I asked myself out loud, “what is my fear” and I asked again and again and again….till my breath got normal.

I slowly stood up. My feet did not shake. I realised that my fear was not real. It was all made up. Fear is never real. So, to understand it and let it go we need to ask ourselves, “what is my fear”.

I turned again towards cafe and looked at the mountain. I told the mighty mountain out loud, “you got to help me. I am not here to conquer you. I am here to be with you. So, help me.”

And as if I could touch the heart of the mighty mountain. It helped me. It showed me the most beautiful path right at the next bent, laiden with dry leaves and red flowers. Like it welcomed me in its home, its heart.

The mountain whispered to me, “Girl, you will have the best of me and my hospitality” and it showered beautiful snowflakes and I did feel like a little girl.

The journey ahead was great and joyful.

Now, I will be saying goodbye to you in a few hours. And I will always remember how you helped me connect to you, let go of me fear, treated me with your best and showed me your tenderness and kindness.

Thank you from the core of my heart. I will come again someday to be with you and together we will explore more. I know you will always help me.