When do you need a Coach and why?

Self Coaching to Self Love

December 16, 2020

Why would you fail again with new year resolutions?

January 18, 2021

Year 2021 has brought with it new beginnings, literally! I find myself amidst a rush of ideas and activities that include interacting and connecting with people either coaching or talking about coaching. And it brought to my awareness that even though it is a modality understood and accepted in the corporate world; generally people have little awareness or understanding of how it is related to their lives. While the researcher and observer in me can clearly see the spaces in people’s lives and in social systems that cry out loud for the need of an intervention like coaching; what amazed me is that how people are not able to identify the need!

And I finally had my aha! moment while I was listening to a presentation on Paradox of coaching. It used the example of other professions like plumber, electrician, doctor to explain how we identify a situation or a problem with the solution provider. Like, if you have a broken pipe or leaky tap, you need a plumber to fix it. Similarly, do you know when and in what kind of situation do you need a Coach. Probably not. Well, mostly not ( that has come to my observation while speaking to number of people recently). Being a coach, when I am immersed in the value of my work, I might wonder that there is some stigma about mental health or people do not see the value in coaching and therefore, they are not willing to reach out to coaches. But now I wonder, it could be as simple as our brains not able to make the link between the situation and the possible solution.

So, here I am making an attempt to connect the dots with the situations where considering coaching would either make the solution possible or would accelerate the pace of solution. Given the diversity in the expressions, it is nearly impossible to mention every sentence that would indicate the need of coach. Therefore, I am converging all such statements, reasons, dilemmas into three broad indicators. So, if you catch yourself, thinking or speaking to yourself in these ways, you might need a coach.

Though I have tried to capture the essence, the above list is not conclusive and exhaustive. As my recent client experiences tell me that sometimes, the greatest advantage of coaching come from the ability to having spoken the words out loud in the presence of a coach, which normally people would not speak to themselves.

It might occur to you that in the above mentioned scenarios or situations, people would ideally turn to friends, partners, parents or family members. Why do they need a professional coach? In an ideal world, that should happen. But we are far from any ideal. If you have in your life people who offer you a non-judgmental, empathetic space to be yourself and speak what you feel and think; who question you from an authentic and curious space to help you explore instead of triggering you; who can be present for you in the given moment; then you already have what you need. However, that is not the reality with most of people. And the question is not of intentions. There are well meaning friends, partners, parents, teachers who would like to support in every possible way, although they may not be aware and equipped with the corrects ways and tools to support. Also, when you know a lot about somebody, curiosity is not what you are able to maintain with them. Therefore, people in your close quarters may end up assuming, judging, suggesting or associating their own wellbeing with yours and this would not be helpful.

While having your loved ones near you creates a safe zone for you and supports you through any change or progress in life, it is not enough to propel you towards change. And you need a catalyst, a mirror and a sounding board to see you, hear you with unconditional positive regard, curiosity, and empathy. To nudge you towards action with adequate challenge and to hold you accountable for your own progress and change. The contribution of a coach in your journey can be summed up in three areas: Awareness; Action; and Accountability.